Rory Ramble #5

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but since the liveries are no longer allowed to do much other than stay at home (or ride), their conversations have become pretty tedious. They yap on about Covid and things they can’t do (often things they never wanted to do when they were able to) and, most recently, vaccinations –

the Old Bird was twittering on about having had her first jab as if it were something to get excited about, whereas I view our annual vaccinations as a chore that I would happily forgo if given the choice. I almost miss the days when they would also drone on about Brexit and some bloke called The Donald, both of which they seemed to enjoy hating. However, the good news is that as they have little else of interest to discuss (apart from the weather, of course), we horses are often the main topic of discussion (as it should be). Even so, I did use to enjoy the odd titbit of gossip and I would welcome the sight of some different faces – it’s been too long since the non-owners were riding here (not to mention the volunteers who tended to show me the appropriate level of respect). I hope they will all be back soon (please note, Boris) – the more sources of treats the better.

If you watched She Who Must Be Obeyed strutting her stuff on Musical Rides last week – and I have to agree they are great fun to do – you will have heard that they are a team effort and that nobody watching is looking at any particular horse or rider; I beg to disagree – it is perfectly possible to be a great team player AND to shine as an individual star as I did all those years ago. I am looking forward to resuming my celebrity role and regaining my crown later this year. And if you missed it, you might like to catch up with all the carers giving us the low down on their lives and how they came to be here at WVS where we are so lucky to have them looking after us (obviously I will deny I ever said this as we don’t want them to become big-headed).

And so to this week’s WVS gossip (such as it is these lockdown days): Hudson – a decent bloke, I think, but I’ve only ridden out with him once – tells me that the Superintendent, his “owner” (formally a senior plod, so we try not to mess with her) has carelessly injured herself playing padel (right, who’s heard of padel, but apparently it’s a form of tennis – another pointless game) and therefore won’t be able to ride him for ages. Not only that, but her “sporting” accident happened while she was (and still is) in Spain, so she’s been AWOL for far too long and has, apparently, decided to substitute an electric wheelchair for Hudson while she recovers – a wheelchair: can you imagine the distress such news is causing him? I have no doubt though that he will get his own back once she resumes riding: she may be the Superintendent in some areas of her life, but Hudson makes sure she knows that when he responds to any of her so-called aids, it is purely out of the kindness of his heart. I have suggested to him that, as punishment for her fickleness, he should stop being so generous at least for a while, but I also reminded him of the need to bear in mind just how far you can push it – none of us wants to start an escalating war that could result in the withdrawal of treats or worse (if anything could be worse).

While my excellent Wimbledon/Claygate regime has continued uninterrupted, the boys and girls who had been traipsing round the roads in Wimbledon Village during the icy weather were allowed a day or two of much welcomed freedom down at Manor Farm last week to ensure they burned off any excess energy and were willing to behave sedately enough not to unseat or unsettle the liveries. So now everyone is back on the Common (some of us had already sneaked in a few cheeky forays there just before the thaw) and, I am happy to report, despite a return of the rain, the puddles on our tracks have shrunk a bit. I must say I enjoy the milder weather and am hoping for some Spring sunshine this week which should encourage those tasty little new grass shoots (I’m so over bramble leaves)…